Fujima's Throne
by shadow knight87
Summary: A simple game of spin the bottle finds Fujima up a stump...but is there any challenge that a guy of his calibre can't possibly pull off?


**Summary: **A simple game of"spin-the-bottle" finds Fujima up a stump...but is there any challenge that a guy of his calibre can't possibly pull off?

* * *

**Title: **Fujima's Throne

**Author: **shadowknight87

**Warning:** Weird plot... weird people... if you can't tolerate, leave nn

_Written all in good fun..._

* * *

One fine afternoon, the whole basketball team of Shoyo High School decided to play a game of Spin the Bottle in their gym. After a while of spinning and ego-defying dares, it was now Hanagata's turn to twirl the bottle around and to his utter delight, it pointed right at their captain Fujima. 

Here now was a chance to avenge the disgrace his ego had just suffered in the unbelievably and shockingly mischievous scheming mind of the supposedly good-mannered brunet. _Good-mannered, my ass!_ Hanagata's mind screamed spitefully as he tried to keep a straight face and not to glower at their captain.

"Call it," Fujima said, an irritatingly breezy, confident smile plastered on his lips. Hanagata considered making that blasted lips kiss the dirt outside the gym but that wouldn't be much different from what this guy had made him do a while ago. C'mon, here at last was his chance for sweet revenge--he should think of something more... ego-whacking... Something that could deftly swipe that smile of confidence from off his _virginal_ lips.

BAH! Virginal indeed! Hanagata seethed once again at the memory of Fujima's dare-- "I haven't really been kissed before but I'm really dying to see people lapping it up... so, I dare Hanagata to kiss Hasegawa in front of me!"

Hanagata grimaced at the sheer _horror_ of that memory. _How dare this guy--_ What had they ever done to make him get back at them like that? Or was it merely his hidden immaturity at work that made Fujima think of that damning dare? _Well, damn him to hell!_

Hasegawa was currently lying flat on his back, conked out from the shock of the whole _experience_. Hanagata tried all his best not to follow him to dream land until he had made the cloaked bakemono pay...

He cringed at the smile on Fujima's lips. It seemed to cry pride and superiority! Like he could do anything--anything at all that he would be dared to do! Hanagata raked his brain for something, anything that could make Fujima condescend to the levels of disgrace.

And as if by some celestial magic, it came to him almost in a flash...

"Fujima, I dare you to join the beauty pageant on the day after tomorrow," Hanagata said rather casually.

"What!" Fujima cried in utter disbelief.

"The Kanagawa Beauty pageant," Takano said, a smile of amusement playing on his lips. Everybody else in the gym looked pleased with Hanagata's idea of a dare for it would also be taking revenge on their experiences of humiliation in the hands of that notorious brunet.

"Right. If he refuses to do it, we're going to shave his head as what we've agreed on before we started this game," Nagano said.

Hanagata now sported the same kind of smile that had only a while ago graced Kenji Fujima's proud lips. "So? I thought there's nothing in this world that your greatness couldn't do?"

"Okay, okay I'll join the contest," Fujima huffed before jumping up to his feet and walking out of the gym.

"What do you think Fujima will do?" Takano asked.

"We'll find out soon enough..." Hanagata replied.

* * *

On the day of the comptetion... 

"Good afternoon to all of you, we're now holding the Kanagawa Beauty pageant. There are twelve beautiful ladies who joined this contest and now I'll call them one by one. Haruko Akagi..."

"You can do it Haruko!" Sakuragi shouted from the audience.

"...Akihoshi Yuki..."

"Haruko's here, that means Akagi's here as well," Takano said.

"Fujima's in trouble," Hanagata said, not really with anxiety but with amused delight.

"That lady really looks familiar..." Akagi said to himself, staring at the girl named Akihoshi Yuki.

"...Paku Pakunada, Machi Kinomoto, Rika Senoda..."

"And that one looks familiar as well," Akagi said to himself, staring at the fair beaming lady with dark, long hair.

"...Juana Mioji, Isah Mitsi, Rio Myagi, Keith Ruaka..." the announcer kept on calling until all the twelve lovely, smiling and elegantly-dressed ladies were standing in a straight line on the stage.

* * *

After an hour... 

"Now we're going to pick our top five," the announcer said while opening a piece of paper.

"First, Akihoshi Yuki."

"Where's Fujima?" Nagano asked, closely scrutinizing each girl on the stage.

"Second, Rika Senoda."

"Maybe he's now shaving his hair," Hanagata said, grinning at the mere thought of it.

"Third, Haruko Akagi."

"Maybe he's wearing a wig," Hasegawa suggested, eagerly looking for that damn tormentor of his with the _virginal _lips. _Damn you to the moon and back, Kenji Fujima!_

"Fourth, Paku Pakunada."

"Where is he?" Takano said looking for Fujima.

"Fifth and last, Keith Ruaka."

"Hey, isn't that the Ryonan team?" Takano asked when he saw the basketball team of Ryonan High School sitting a few aisles down.

"Their ace player isn't there," Hanagata observed.

* * *

"Where's Sendoh?" Hikoichi said, scrutinizing rather too eagerly every single face in the audience. 

"Isn't that Haruko the younger sister of Akagi?" Uozumi said when he saw Haruko.

"I think you're right," Koshino said pointing to Sakuragi who was now jumping up and down like a kid because of so much joy.

* * *

"Hanagata, why did you pick this kind of dare in the first place?" Takano asked. 

"Fujima can do almost everything, so I thought that he can't do this one," Hanagata replied. "Besides, it's only brushing with all the disgrace he had made us do the other day. Don't you think he deserves a bitter taste of his own medicine?"

"I think you're right," Hasegawa agreed. "About that and Fujima not being able to do this thing. Man, I haven't seen his mere shadow around! That chicken creep!"

* * *

"Now will you lovely ladies please go to the Isolation booth except for Miss Akihoshi Yuki," the announcer said pointing to the locked room in one corner of the stage. When all four ladies were safely locked inside, the announcer proceeded to ask the final, deciding question... 

"Now Miss Akihoshi here is your question. In one sentence, why did you join this competition?"

"I joined this competition because my friends wanted me to," Akihoshi said, throwing the most disdainful smirk at the group of tall guys in the audience who were all craning their necks in search of... him.

"Next Miss Rika Senoda..."

"I joined this competition because I wanted to," Rika said.

"Next Miss Haruko Akagi..."

"I joined this competition because of my brother, my parents and Kaede Rukawa," Haruko said blushing furiously.

"Haruko what about me!" Sakuragi cried from the audience.

"And..." Haruko said but...

"Next Miss Paku Pakunada."

"I joined this competition because of my friends," Paku said.

"And last but definitely not the least, Miss Keith Ruaka."

"I joined this competition because I want to experience it," Keith said.

"Now you've heard all our top five candidates and you're about to know who's going to win in just a short while."

* * *

"Haruko why did you do this to me," Sakuragi sobbed in agony. 

"That Keith, I know I've seen her somewhere," Akagi mused.

"Where's Sendoh?" Hikoichi said, desperately looking for their ace player.

"Where's Fujima?" Hanagata, who was now holding a pair of scissors and a shave, said impatiently.

* * *

On the stage... 

"Sakuragi," Haruko said to herself, pitying the crying Sakuragi.

"They're looking for me," Sendoh thought, catching sight of Hikoichi whose neck all but craned like a giraffe's.

"I have to tell them that I joined the pageant," Fujima thought anxiously as he caught sight of Hanagata holding a pernicious pair of scissors and an equally baneful shave.

"They're not here," Keith said when she didn't see what she was looking for in the audience. Of all the contestants on the stage, she was the most calmed and composed.

"I must win," Paku said a little too loudly, obviously trying to drown out her nervousness in the loudness of her voice.

"Now we've got the results, and we're going to announce them with a little help from the captain of Kainan High, Shinichi Maki!" the announcer said before Maki stepped out onto the stage, much to the female spectators squealing delight.

"Maki, what is he doing here?" Keith said to himself, now in a more intensified panic than the others.

"As opposed to what we've all been used to before, I am going to start calling the winners from the highest. Our Miss Kanagawa is the beautiful... Miss Keith Ruaka!"

Amidst the thunderous applauds and whistles of admiration from the audience, Keith dragged himself towards the center in painstakingly slow steps. He was shaking and trembling so hard that when Maki was just about to put the crown on his head, his hair suddenly slipped off and revealed who _he_ really was.

"Kiyota!" Maki cried, his eyes bulging with shock at seeing Kainan's proud rookie in a lady's gown.

Kiyota, realizing the disgrace he had just put upon himself and his school turned and stormed down the stage with his wig covering his blushing face.

"I knew I've seen him, he's Nobunaga Kiyota of Kainan!" Akagi thought in shock. The other male spectators all but stared in wide-eyed silence.

"We're going to change it," Maki said to the audience, trying to keep his calm. _I'll deal with that creep later,_ he said to himself before reading out the next name on the list. "Our Miss Kanagawa is... Rika Senoda."

Rika walked proudly toward the center, again amidst thunderous applauds and hoots of admiration from the drooling audience. And just when Maki was about to put the crown on the Aphroditic lady's head...

"Aaaahhh! What are you doing there SENDOH?" Hikoichi screamed from the audience.

Because of anger and embarrassment, Sendoh jumped off the stage and chased after Hikoichi.

"I thought I knew that…er… I didn't think it would be HIM, though," Akagi thought in both amusement and disgust. God, and he was just thinking of asking that lady out on a date... The male spectators this time had to practically fight off the urge to puke and faint at the sheer _horror_ of it all, while the female half fought off the rush of disappointed tears.

"Another man joined," Maki said a little impatiently. "That brings Miss Akihoshi Yuki up to the title of Miss Kanagawa!"

Akihoshi walked proudly and with apposite royalty and superiority towards the center and Maki, this time was successful in putting the crown on her and consequently giving her the bouquet of flowers. The blushing MVP of Kanagawa leaned closer and pressed his cheek against the fair, supple cheek of the Queen and whispered most tenderly and admiringly, "You're lovely..."

The lady only blushed and smirked at him before walking off to stand at her place, while the rather astounded guy coughed and called out the rest of the winners.

"Our First Runner Up, Miss Haruko Akagi."

"...And our Second Runner Up, none other than Miss Paku Pakunada..."

* * *

After an hour, inside the Shoyo High School Gym... 

"Oooohhh, that lady who won, man, she's the BOMB!" exclaimed Nagano, blushing at the mere memory of that godly face.

"Yeah, it's such a shame we didn't get to see her after the pageant," said Takano, frowning at the lost chance of dating an intoxicatingly beautiful lady for even just once in his life.

"You'd have to admit Sendoh and Kiyota looked cute too," Hasegawa nearly rolled on the floor laughing at the thought of the two basketball aces dressed like ladies, vying for the most prestigious throne. "They've gone nuts! Are they that desperate to get themselves a title? NYAHAHAHHAAHA!"

"Perhaps they've been dared by nuttier people as well," a soft, feminish and rather pensive voice suddenly spoke up from the direction of the door. All eyes turned and grew wide at the sight of their unexpected visitor. They all but drooled as their eyes turned into twinkling dots.

"Miss Kanagawa, what are you doing here?" Hanagata cried in shock when Miss Kanagawa, Akihoshi Yuki entered the gym.

"What are you saying?" the lovely lady suddenly snapped in a voice that was so familiar to them, all guys suddenly had to fight off the urge to puke all over the floor. "It's me," Akihoshi said, taking _his_ wig off and grinning tauntingly at his teammates. "What were you guys saying about me a while ago?"

"FUJIMA!" they all shouted, half of them practically keeling over at the shock of it all. Imagine, falling, drooling and fantasizing for this mischievous imp they've all thought of pulling down to the dinges of shame and disgrace? Look who had just been disgraced now...

Hanagata rolled his eyes as a furious blush warmed his face up, almost blasting it off to the stars. It was hard to acknowledge but it's true... Nobody could really beat this guy off his throne of mischievous impishness...

Damn you Kenji Fujima--to hell and back!

**THE END **

**Note: **This is a very old fiction written for the 2003 SD Slam Fest... i tried my hand on **Scenario #6 **_Fujima enters a beauty pageant disguised as a girl_, and i came up with this.

**Note 2:** The yaoi hintings in this fictionare not my doing--i've got my sister to thank for that P **mental note to self:** never let oneechan mess with my fics ever again...

Ciao!


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